Saturday, March 19, 2016

fully in love

it's 12:34 am. i fly back to Chicago tomorrow after two weeks of spring break (take that state schools). and i haven't finished nearly as many of my academic assignments as i had hoped. yet, here i sit at my computer not writing that paper, but writing on here. sometimes this is just how it goes.

life update looks something like this:
-my sister got married (big whoop-whoop and congrats to the couple)
-i am annoyed at the question of when i'll get married
-the answer is no time soon
-as in no time at all soon
now that that is all settled and clear... let's all move on.

summer of 2014 i had the opportunity to road trip with some friends to Kansas City, MO for a few days. while there we spent some time in the prayer room at IHOP (nope, not the pancakes one). i remember, at one or two in the morning one of the leaders of the set sang the chorus by Jon Thurlow that goes,

"i just want a heart that is fully in love"

there are a few other words and golden pieces of greatness in that song.
but that phrase is repeated over and over and over again. and i love it. so much.
and it's where i'm at right now. many times i feel that studying the Bible and learning about Christianity, although great, can be difficult. if Christian is a title, missions an occupation, the Bible a textbook, then what on earth is my faith. because more times than i'd care to admit that is the place i end up in.
mindless routine.
i need to read this many pages in the New Testament so that i can mark off my reading requirement
i need to write reflection questions for this passage for an assignment
what are the different views on this doctrine so that i can finish my paper
i must __*Bible/Christian/Jesus thing here*___ so that i can __*academic something here*___ and then move on
but that's not it.
that is so not it.
what ever happened to the simplicity. when did a degree come above "a heart that is fully in love". may it never be... but some days it is. and it breaks my heart.
but that chorus still rings in my mind sometimes. even more often may it resound in my heart and spirit. because that's why i go to school. not for a piece of paper at the end, but because i want to follow Christ in whatever He leads me to. and in following Him I love Him even more.
it's simple really,
i just want a heart that is fully in love.