Monday, September 14, 2015

hi, my name is Grace and i have no idea what's going on

does it catch anyone else by surprise?
I told Jesus that He could have every day of my life.
and, to be honest, I'm really not entirely sure what all has happened since then...

sometimes I stop and realize that it's absolutely insane. nothing short of madness, what has happened in my life, where I'm at, and how I got here. I really don't know how it all happened and came together aside from one thing person, Christ.

sometimes I get to share stories and my own mind gets blown away by what God has done. sometimes, let's face it a lot of the time, I dream of the limitless possibilities that He lays before me. I marvel often at the worthiness of Christ to go, be, and do anything He leads me to.

then sometimes I moan. straight up I forget. I forget how I got to where I am. I forget why I live in (presently) Chicago. I forget where Christ has brought me from and lose that small glimpse of what He has for me beyond the present. I forget the past, present, and future promises. I lose the vision, which really means losing  the focus being on Jesus. 'Cause really why else? Why else has my life played out the way it has? Why else take this course? And I lose my perspective more times than I care to admit. My focus turns to immediate things. I focus on making good appearances in my beginning impressions, making a good grade, and other "good" things. It brings me to moments when I obsess over the trivial. The problem is when I forget why. I become so un-content and lose the closeness with God. It all becomes so fleeting just like Solomon talks about in Ecclesiastes. But God is so faithful. And it perpetually blows me away. He draws me back. He gives me fresh vision and purpose. He reminds me of where I've been and how He has carried me. He stirs up hope for the future. He gives me the faith for the present. Real talk, even at a super Christian school, you can talk about the Bible, Jesus, etc. all day and never say a word to Him. So *raises hand* guilty. And in case it was ever in question, I couldn't do this in and of myself. I love adventure. I love the craziness that is my life (most of the time, Jesus help me though). However, 100%, when I try and do this in and of myself, I don't just trip a bit, I fall flat out on my face. But, praise God, that He laughs with me at my pitiful attempts, utter mess-ups, and humbling stumbles; then He picks me up as we chuckle and start strolling together again.

So here's to yet another shift of perspective, Jesus be my focus. again and again.

1 comment:

  1. What a blessing you are and so gifted with expressing your walk with the Lord. I love you and will always remember CentriKid 2014!